Something on your site is broken and nobody has told you.

Fix My Sh*t, by TraciUnfiltered

I look at your store or your site from the outside, the same way a customer does, and I send you a written report of what is broken, how broken, and what it costs to fix. No login. No password. No meeting.

Start with the walk-and-talk Do it tonight. Thirteen questions, answered out loud on a walk. No form to fill in. No call to schedule.

No access to your accounts
No monthly retainer
No meeting to schedule

You already know something is wrong. You just cannot name it.

Sales are flat, or the phone stopped ringing, or somebody mentioned they could not find a thing on your site and you have been carrying that around since. You have probably paid for an app or a plugin that was supposed to handle it. It is installed. It is even configured correctly.

That is usually where it goes wrong. The tool works. The tool is just not doing what you think it is doing, and the only way to find that out is for somebody to go look.

What this actually is

Here is a real one. A shop I looked at had 666 products in his store. At most 41 of them could be found through his own year filter. About six percent. The other 625 were invisible no matter what a customer clicked.

His filter was not even offering years. It offered 11-16, 13-18, 2011-2016, 19+ and 19-CURRENT, and two of the entries were not years at all. Somebody had typed them in by hand, one at a time, and nobody had ever gone back and counted.

There was also a JavaScript error throwing on every single page load that nobody had ever opened the console to see.

One hour. No account. No password. Nothing but pages anybody can open.

What you get

The report

A written document, five to seven pages, that names every problem in plain English with the number attached to it. Not "your filters need work." Six percent of your catalog is findable, here is how I counted it, here is the page you can open to check me.

The denominator on every claim

Every number in the report comes with where it came from and the date I checked it. If a number is a ceiling rather than an exact count, it says so. You should be able to argue with it.

The console and network read

The errors your site throws that nobody sees, because they do not break the page. They just quietly stop something from working.

The AI check

I ask ChatGPT, Gemini, Perplexity, Copilot and Claude for what you sell, in your town, the way a customer would. You get the count: how many named you, what they got wrong, and who they named instead. Nobody can make an assistant recommend you, and anyone who says they can is selling a feeling. I fix what it reads.

The fix, quoted separately

Once you know what is wrong, you get a fixed price to fix it. You can hand that quote to somebody else. I would rather you fix it than not.

What I am not going to do

Sell you a subscription. Ask for your admin password. Put you on a retainer. Tell you your whole site needs rebuilding when four things need fixing.

How it works

The walk-and-talk. Thirteen questions. Answer them out loud on your phone, on a walk, in the truck, whenever. Send me the recording. That is the whole intake.
I quote the diagnostic. Based on what is actually there. Most sites land at $350. A very large catalog or more than one storefront costs more, and I tell you the number before I start.
I go look. From outside. Your site, your store, your listings, what the AI assistants say about you, your console. Nothing I do touches your business.
You get the report. Two business days. Written, numbered, checkable.
You decide what to fix. I quote the fix separately. Take it, or take the report to somebody else. Either is fine.

Do the math. This is the honest version.

Skip the part where somebody projects your income. Here is the arithmetic that actually applies.

If a customer cannot find a product, that sale does not happen. You are not losing a margin point on it. You are losing the whole thing, quietly, and it does not show up anywhere in your reports, because a sale that never started leaves no trace.

The only number that matters is how many of your products a customer can actually reach. Nobody has counted it. That is the job.

See one first

You should not buy a report without seeing what a report looks like. Here is a real one, with the business anonymized.

Read a sample report (PDF)

The walk-and-talk

Go for a walk. Open the voice recorder on your phone. Answer these out loud, in whatever order they come out. Fifteen minutes is plenty. No wrong order, no wrong answers, ramble freely.

What is the thing that is broken? Say it the way you would say it to a friend, not the way you would write it in an email.
How did you find out it was broken? Did a customer tell you, did you notice it yourself, or did somebody complain?
How long has it been like this?
What does it cost you when it goes wrong? Money, time, a customer walking out, having to apologize. Guess if you have to.
What have you already tried? Include the things that did not work and the things you paid for.
Has anybody else touched this? A nephew, a freelancer, a company you hired, the guy who built the website five years ago. Are they still involved?
What have you been told is wrong with it, and by who?
What does fixed look like? If you woke up tomorrow and it was right, what would be different that you would actually notice?
What have you decided you are NOT willing to do about it? Switch platforms, start over, spend over a certain amount, learn a new system. Say the real limits.
Is anything sitting on a deadline? A season, a renewal, a contract, a busy month coming.
Where do I look? Give me the web address, the store, the page, whatever the public can already see. I do not need a login and I am not going to ask for one.
If a customer asked an AI assistant, like ChatGPT, for a business like yours in your town, what would they type? Say it the way they would say it. And who would you hate to see it recommend instead of you?
Anything else bugging you that you did not think counted? Say it anyway. It usually counts.

Send me the recording goes to traci@ducttapeworld.com. voice memos are small; if your email balks, send a share link instead.
within two business days you get what I am going to look at and the price. nothing is charged before you say yes.

What I never ask for: your passwords, your logins, your card details, your customer list. The diagnostic is done from the outside, the way your customers see it. If somebody asks you for a password before they have shown you anything, that is the tell.

Who this is not for

You want somebody to run your marketing. That is not this.
You want it free. The report takes real hours and I do not do free ones.
You want me inside your accounts. I work from outside on purpose.
You already know exactly what is wrong and just need it built. Hire a builder, not me.

Bring me the mess.

Start with the walk-and-talk Do it tonight. Thirteen questions, no form, no call, no account.